I don't know what it is, maybe it could be that my biology professor is an activist, but I have been really interested in non-profit organizations that are out making changes. There are so many around. You have Food 4 Africa (hoping to bring at least one vitamin and nutrient enriched meal to a child daily), Stand Up to Cancer (I think the name explains itself), World Food Programme (fighting hunger worldwide).... You get the picture.
I have come across a lot these amazing organizations. Then I found one that I have really fallen in love with. The organization is called Drop4Drop. It is based out of the United Kingdom. Their goal is to bring clean water to developing coutnries. Most recently they brought 4 wells to a couple of India communities. I know it sounds weird, but did you know:
-Every 20 seconds a child dies from a water-related disease
-About 1.2 billion people don't have access to clean water
-About 3.575 million people die yearly from water-related illnesses
-In developing countries about 200 million work hours are consumed by women going and collecting water for their families. That is like building 28 Empire State Buildings daily!
The statistics go on. It is really sad. I don't normally do this but I ask that you look up this organization you can find them at www.drop4drop.org They are truly an amazing organization, and I have had the opportunity to get to know a few of key people in the organization.
I truly care about this organization, and I can only hope that one day clean water will be available to everyone . . . after all it is a human right.
xoxo McCall
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Hydrogen, Carbon, and Oxygen!!
I can't believe that I have been in school almost a month . . . and I'm still alive! I'll be honest I was little scared with starting back up in school after having been gone so long. One thing I think is really funny is when people ask you about your major, or how far along in your studies you are, and they act all surprised that I'm not further along. In my mind I'm usually thinking "I have a cosmetology license . . . I haven't been picking my nose for the past 7 years!" Sometimes I find out that the person I am talking to has served a mission and is either a year younger than me or is my age, and is about as far as I am . . . Don't really think they have room to judge. Lol. Just my thoughts. Ha ha.
I have my first exam in Biology coming up on Wednesday, and I cannot tell you how much I have been studying. Saturday I got home around 1pm after having lunch with the bro. Josh, and got straight to studying. The next time I took a break and looked at the clock it was 6pm. Time flies when you're studying lol. My brain is literally pulsing from all the information I am shoving into it. Interestingly, as much as it is a pain to study, I love it! I am honestly glad for my decision to come back to school and pursue my passion. However, I wish I didn't have to take Political Science (snore). I am not exactly all that interested in Politics. I just want a President who will run our country honestly, and get America out of this crazy debt . . . A drop in gas prices would be nice too haha.
So this last week has been rather eventful for my family. Macy went in and finally had her jaw surgery to fix her cross bite and under bite. She went in on Monday at 5:30am. I cannot tell you how depressing it is to watch her go through this. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could trade her places! Her moth is elastic shut (because they no longer wire them), and she has this weird thing they call a splint that sits between her teeth. We have to feed her through a syringe that has a catheter hooked to it. She has been eating so many liquids they could start pouring out of her ears at any moment. Luckily she goes to the doctor tomorrow to get permission to begin eating soft foods like mashed potatoes, jello, soft pasta . . . Her lower jaw they removed bone to move her jaw back, and she has four plates in her upper jaw. She absolutely needed it done, because her jaw was causing her pain when she chewed. There were times when she would be eating that you could hear her jaw pop, or a tendon snap. Thankfully she is doing better each and everyday!
Oooooh I completely forgot to update you on Muggles!! She is using her hind leg! She is finally getting some feeling back in the foot slowly :) Major improvement! I am so excited! She has become more social and even comes out of Macy's room now. The vet that caused all this drama with Muggles black listed my family because we complained. They began to make it difficult for Snickers (the dog) to get groomed. So we are no longer using Willow Creek. Yes that is right the name of that horrible place is Willow Creek . . . And the owner is a . . . Well he is not a good man (to put it in nicer terms).
Time for more Biology!
xoxo - McCall
I have my first exam in Biology coming up on Wednesday, and I cannot tell you how much I have been studying. Saturday I got home around 1pm after having lunch with the bro. Josh, and got straight to studying. The next time I took a break and looked at the clock it was 6pm. Time flies when you're studying lol. My brain is literally pulsing from all the information I am shoving into it. Interestingly, as much as it is a pain to study, I love it! I am honestly glad for my decision to come back to school and pursue my passion. However, I wish I didn't have to take Political Science (snore). I am not exactly all that interested in Politics. I just want a President who will run our country honestly, and get America out of this crazy debt . . . A drop in gas prices would be nice too haha.
So this last week has been rather eventful for my family. Macy went in and finally had her jaw surgery to fix her cross bite and under bite. She went in on Monday at 5:30am. I cannot tell you how depressing it is to watch her go through this. I wish with every fiber of my being that I could trade her places! Her moth is elastic shut (because they no longer wire them), and she has this weird thing they call a splint that sits between her teeth. We have to feed her through a syringe that has a catheter hooked to it. She has been eating so many liquids they could start pouring out of her ears at any moment. Luckily she goes to the doctor tomorrow to get permission to begin eating soft foods like mashed potatoes, jello, soft pasta . . . Her lower jaw they removed bone to move her jaw back, and she has four plates in her upper jaw. She absolutely needed it done, because her jaw was causing her pain when she chewed. There were times when she would be eating that you could hear her jaw pop, or a tendon snap. Thankfully she is doing better each and everyday!
Oooooh I completely forgot to update you on Muggles!! She is using her hind leg! She is finally getting some feeling back in the foot slowly :) Major improvement! I am so excited! She has become more social and even comes out of Macy's room now. The vet that caused all this drama with Muggles black listed my family because we complained. They began to make it difficult for Snickers (the dog) to get groomed. So we are no longer using Willow Creek. Yes that is right the name of that horrible place is Willow Creek . . . And the owner is a . . . Well he is not a good man (to put it in nicer terms).
Time for more Biology!
xoxo - McCall
Sunday, January 15, 2012
One down!
I have survived the first week of school! I can honestly say that I am very happy in my decision to go back. To be honest I haven't really felt the full effects of my new schedule. I'm sure I will begin to feel it at the end of next week, if not the next week.
My Biology Professor is a bit odd. She comes across as one of those socially awkward women. Everyone in the lecture hall has to be very quiet as she has a tendency to keep her voice low. Fortunately there is really only about 25-30 of us in the hall so there isn't much noise that can be made to drown out her voice. Right now the first chapter we are studying is that basic overview of everything that is going be covered in the course of our study this semester. Tons of memorizing of concepts, themes, and definitions (good thing I do well at memorization), and also understanding the structures of cells, and their role. Probably doesn't sound too interesting to you, but I am in Heaven!
My Biology Lab is going to be fun! My first day we got to examine a brine shrimp and algae under a microscope. LOVED IT! A brine shrimp is one creepy organism lol. It was awesome, and my lab partner is an awesome guy who is transferred to SLCC from the U of U because of the tuition increase at the U. He is finishing up a few courses here and then plans on going back to the U to finish his degree in physics. The past few days I have going through science article after science article. I have to choose an article that interests me; then I write a background on the subject I chose. From there I write about why the scientists in the article chose to study the subject, and what their hypothesis was. Next, I write about the experiments they did, and the techniques they do, what their results were, and what the results meant. One of the articles that has really interested me is "Effect of Irrigation and Large Dams on the Burden of Malaria on a Global and Regional Scale."
My Chemistry class had an interesting first two days. My first day of Chem. the school hadn't assigned us a teacher. The head of the science department came in and said "You have not been assigned a teacher, but should have one by tomorrow. Read Chapter One, and you are excused." Haha! The second day our Professor was there, and says to the class "I am your Professor. I just found out about this fifteen minutes ago. I will have a syllabus for you tomorrow. Read Chapter One, and I will see you all tomorrow." Everyone was like oooookay? Of course (just like Biology) the first chapter is an overview. Going over what makes a compound, what a homogeneous mixture is, how to figure how fast light travels in a mile, yada yada. But again I am in Heaven!
My Chemistry Lab is going to be just as fun as my bio lab, except I have the potential to blow up the lab if the wrong chemicals are combined. Ha ha. On my Muse side that could be a problem, but if my cousin Josh is a genius there is hope for me!! Ha ha. My Biology Lab partner is also in my Chem Lab, and we may become partners in Chem Lab we just have to see if our Biology partners wouldn't mind making the change lol.
(If you cannot tell I am a Science Nerd! Hence my love of medicine!)
Political Science is turning out to be rather interesting. My Professor is rather funny. He is in his 60's and our first day says "I just got new hearing aids so if I play with my ears forgive me." Ha ha. He then proceeded to make fun of his age. He was great! He also makes politics interesting! Typically when someone tries to talk politics I fall asleep, and a good chunk of that is because I just haven't taken the time to understand it. So I am rather grateful that my Professor makes it interesting cause this class I would definitely fall asleep in otherwise.
English is fabulous. I love writing so I am looking forward to the project that I have to do for the class. We are creating groups of 2-3 people who will write a portfolio on a subject in society that we take great interest in, or that we do not agree with. There is a group piece that is written, and then individual pieces. The girl that I am partnering with is a cute girl. We are going to be writing on the affects of media on society's perceptions. I'm rather excited about this topic.
Needless to say I am rather excited by school, and as you can tell (I hope you can tell) I am happy to be back. I hope you are all having a wonderful January! I know I am!
xoxo McCall
My Biology Professor is a bit odd. She comes across as one of those socially awkward women. Everyone in the lecture hall has to be very quiet as she has a tendency to keep her voice low. Fortunately there is really only about 25-30 of us in the hall so there isn't much noise that can be made to drown out her voice. Right now the first chapter we are studying is that basic overview of everything that is going be covered in the course of our study this semester. Tons of memorizing of concepts, themes, and definitions (good thing I do well at memorization), and also understanding the structures of cells, and their role. Probably doesn't sound too interesting to you, but I am in Heaven!
My Biology Lab is going to be fun! My first day we got to examine a brine shrimp and algae under a microscope. LOVED IT! A brine shrimp is one creepy organism lol. It was awesome, and my lab partner is an awesome guy who is transferred to SLCC from the U of U because of the tuition increase at the U. He is finishing up a few courses here and then plans on going back to the U to finish his degree in physics. The past few days I have going through science article after science article. I have to choose an article that interests me; then I write a background on the subject I chose. From there I write about why the scientists in the article chose to study the subject, and what their hypothesis was. Next, I write about the experiments they did, and the techniques they do, what their results were, and what the results meant. One of the articles that has really interested me is "Effect of Irrigation and Large Dams on the Burden of Malaria on a Global and Regional Scale."
My Chemistry class had an interesting first two days. My first day of Chem. the school hadn't assigned us a teacher. The head of the science department came in and said "You have not been assigned a teacher, but should have one by tomorrow. Read Chapter One, and you are excused." Haha! The second day our Professor was there, and says to the class "I am your Professor. I just found out about this fifteen minutes ago. I will have a syllabus for you tomorrow. Read Chapter One, and I will see you all tomorrow." Everyone was like oooookay? Of course (just like Biology) the first chapter is an overview. Going over what makes a compound, what a homogeneous mixture is, how to figure how fast light travels in a mile, yada yada. But again I am in Heaven!
My Chemistry Lab is going to be just as fun as my bio lab, except I have the potential to blow up the lab if the wrong chemicals are combined. Ha ha. On my Muse side that could be a problem, but if my cousin Josh is a genius there is hope for me!! Ha ha. My Biology Lab partner is also in my Chem Lab, and we may become partners in Chem Lab we just have to see if our Biology partners wouldn't mind making the change lol.
(If you cannot tell I am a Science Nerd! Hence my love of medicine!)
Political Science is turning out to be rather interesting. My Professor is rather funny. He is in his 60's and our first day says "I just got new hearing aids so if I play with my ears forgive me." Ha ha. He then proceeded to make fun of his age. He was great! He also makes politics interesting! Typically when someone tries to talk politics I fall asleep, and a good chunk of that is because I just haven't taken the time to understand it. So I am rather grateful that my Professor makes it interesting cause this class I would definitely fall asleep in otherwise.
English is fabulous. I love writing so I am looking forward to the project that I have to do for the class. We are creating groups of 2-3 people who will write a portfolio on a subject in society that we take great interest in, or that we do not agree with. There is a group piece that is written, and then individual pieces. The girl that I am partnering with is a cute girl. We are going to be writing on the affects of media on society's perceptions. I'm rather excited about this topic.
Needless to say I am rather excited by school, and as you can tell (I hope you can tell) I am happy to be back. I hope you are all having a wonderful January! I know I am!
xoxo McCall
Saturday, January 7, 2012
A Spider. . . Really?!
Happy New Year!! I am very well aware that I am late ha ha. I cannot believe we are already on the eve of the seventh day of the new year. I swear 2012 is starting to move faster than 2011. I cannot wait to see what this year is going to produce, but I can feel that it is going to be amazing.
So the past few days I have been anxiously awaiting the beginning of school. I don't know why, but my body is thinking I'm going on some kind of vacation to like Disneyland, and so I can barely sleep. Even my dreams are weird. For instance the other night I had a dream that the week before my sister's jaw surgery, my mom decided to buy my sister a pet to keep her company. What was this pet? A rather large spider. I can only describe it as about the size of a silver dollar. I pleaded and begged my mom to get rid of the thing, but she insisted that it was staying so Macy could have someone to keep her company.
The contraption, or cage, that they kept this spider in was like a glorified hamster cage. The top of the cage sloped upwards like the roof tops of a house, and had these weird screen flap things. Well Macy would open these flaps to let the spider wander around. Now those of you who know the extent of my phobia with spiders can only imagine the horror I was feeling. Long story made short there was a tiny spider crawling across the floor and I used one of my school books to smash it, and when I looked over to my sister's pet spider, the massive thing was dead! Wahoo!
Although the spider died, I woke up shaking ha ha. Pathetic I know, but this is just one of the oddest dreams I have been having. I can only associate it with the mounting anticipation that I have for school. It feels like just yesterday that I was registering for classes and thinking that the beginning of school was a long ways off. That long ways off, has now caught up to me. To the best of my abilities I have tried to prepare myself for the stress, and the change I am about to experience. However, I don't think one can prepare for this, but simply take it one day at a time. . . and that is what I plan to do. . . take it one day at a time :)
I hope 2012 brings mounds of success, love, happiness, and more for you all.
xoxo McCall
So the past few days I have been anxiously awaiting the beginning of school. I don't know why, but my body is thinking I'm going on some kind of vacation to like Disneyland, and so I can barely sleep. Even my dreams are weird. For instance the other night I had a dream that the week before my sister's jaw surgery, my mom decided to buy my sister a pet to keep her company. What was this pet? A rather large spider. I can only describe it as about the size of a silver dollar. I pleaded and begged my mom to get rid of the thing, but she insisted that it was staying so Macy could have someone to keep her company.
The contraption, or cage, that they kept this spider in was like a glorified hamster cage. The top of the cage sloped upwards like the roof tops of a house, and had these weird screen flap things. Well Macy would open these flaps to let the spider wander around. Now those of you who know the extent of my phobia with spiders can only imagine the horror I was feeling. Long story made short there was a tiny spider crawling across the floor and I used one of my school books to smash it, and when I looked over to my sister's pet spider, the massive thing was dead! Wahoo!
Although the spider died, I woke up shaking ha ha. Pathetic I know, but this is just one of the oddest dreams I have been having. I can only associate it with the mounting anticipation that I have for school. It feels like just yesterday that I was registering for classes and thinking that the beginning of school was a long ways off. That long ways off, has now caught up to me. To the best of my abilities I have tried to prepare myself for the stress, and the change I am about to experience. However, I don't think one can prepare for this, but simply take it one day at a time. . . and that is what I plan to do. . . take it one day at a time :)
I hope 2012 brings mounds of success, love, happiness, and more for you all.
xoxo McCall
Friday, December 30, 2011
Is It Over??
So as January 1st draws close I find myself thinking of 'New Years Resolutions." Then I get thinking do I really want to set resolutions when I know that there is a 50/50 chance I will actually do it . . . ok so maybe it is more 20/80 (80% that I may not lol). Well not really it depends on what I set. Let's be honest the top of everyone's list is to become more fit. That's all nice and well, we all go out and purchase a gym membership. Use it for a month or so, and then we let it hang from our key chain, and let it collect dust for the next 1-2 years. Don't be embarrassed, I totally did it! I think what people do (and I do it too), is that we pick generic goals for the New Year. When I say generic I mean things like: loose weight, become fit, stop eating sugar, stop drinking pop, become more organized, and doing something in a certain amount of time . . . Now, I'm not knocking the goals at all! I'm just wondering how many of us choose these generic goals, and then feel that we are good. How many of us really sit and think about what we want to see for ourselves in the new year?
I have some generic goals sure! Who doesn't? But as I have been thinking lately there are other goals that I am setting that I would have never thought of before. One of those goals is to gain more self love for myself, and also to open myself up a little more and let people in. I have been fairly closed off. I find I haven't been much of a sharing person when it comes to opening up and really expressing myself with people, or just letting them in to gain friendships. I have a few other goals, but they are more personal that I wont be going into on here. I will say that my biggest 'generic' goal this year is to do my best and try to get all A's in my classes this semester . . . I can hear you laughing on the other side of the screen. It's college I know that. It's going to be hard. I know that. It is going to require a lot of hard work. I know that. I am prepared for the challenge.
On another note I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my family. I always do, but there is just something about the spirit of Christmas that just brings an extra something to the time spent together. Something that my family (my mom's side) has been doing the last few years is we have been celebrating Christmas on the 29th-ish. This way my mom's brother and his family is able to come up, down, sideways, diagonal (I'm not good with directions so it is one of those) to Salt Lake. We also celebrate my little cousin's birthday at the same time. His name is Matthew, and today he turned 5. He is the cutest, smartest, most energetic boy I have ever met. I love him to death. Seriously I cannot get enough of the kid (even when he is smacking me with balloons). I honestly hope that when the day comes that I have kids they are like Matthew. He is such a joy and amazing little boy.
Matthew's innocence is so refreshing, and so much fun to see. He looks at the world as this amazing playground, and he hits the ground running. His imagination is incredible! It makes me want to be little again, when we all thought that the world was full of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Care Bears, Candy, Naps, and magic. I truly enjoy having Matthew around. It reminds me to greet everything with excitement and a smile. He is always excited, and when he tells you a story he bounces because the joy that he cannot contain. I love him! He is so adorable and the sweetest boy.
I hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve/ New Years day. Stay safe! Drive Safe! And most of all tell your loved ones how much you love them!
xoxo McCall
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tis The Season!
I cannot believe that Christmas is just a few days away! I feel like just yesterday we were celebrating the fourth of July! Funny. This Christmas I have been searching for a calm and stress free Christmas . . . I am some what having one haha. I was called to be the pianist for the ward choir this year so the past few months have been full of me practicing for the choir's numbers for the 25th. Unfortunately, I am a perfectionist, and I expect the best from me (which can be a curse). I have been practicing hours each day trying to perfect these pieces. There are 5 songs that I am playing. Two are pretty easy, but I can't really slack on playing them because sometimes the easiest pieces are the ones you can really mess up. There are two that test my patience, and the timing on one is annoying. Ha ha.
Most recently I have noticed that my wrists are killing me. The past couple days it has been painful to put any weight on my hands, and bending my wrists kills. I tried to play the piano the other day, but reaching for some of the chords was causing pain to run up my arm to my elbow. There are a couple things that could be contributing to my aching wrists . . . First, the past few months of continual hourly practices of the piano (I haven't really practiced like this since I took piano lessons nearly 6 years ago). Secondly it could also be that at my work, my typing load has gone up and so I am typing a lot. However, I don't know exactly how typing on the keyboard could attribute to the pain in the wrists. Who knows . . . All I know is that my wrists are killing me lol.
Oh, so my Mom and I went out and bought my books for school. Holy crap the prices of the books nearly killed me! Even used I was apalled. The lady at the cashier nearly had to rip my card out of my hand to run it ha ha. Colleges really milk students for all their money with the price of tuition and then with the price of books, then you add in the parking permit . . . Good heck! I should just give them my left arm as payment haha. Gotta love the price of a good education :) It'll all pay off in the end. That I know.
I hope you all have an amazing Christmas Season, and enjoy the season with your family!
Most recently I have noticed that my wrists are killing me. The past couple days it has been painful to put any weight on my hands, and bending my wrists kills. I tried to play the piano the other day, but reaching for some of the chords was causing pain to run up my arm to my elbow. There are a couple things that could be contributing to my aching wrists . . . First, the past few months of continual hourly practices of the piano (I haven't really practiced like this since I took piano lessons nearly 6 years ago). Secondly it could also be that at my work, my typing load has gone up and so I am typing a lot. However, I don't know exactly how typing on the keyboard could attribute to the pain in the wrists. Who knows . . . All I know is that my wrists are killing me lol.
Oh, so my Mom and I went out and bought my books for school. Holy crap the prices of the books nearly killed me! Even used I was apalled. The lady at the cashier nearly had to rip my card out of my hand to run it ha ha. Colleges really milk students for all their money with the price of tuition and then with the price of books, then you add in the parking permit . . . Good heck! I should just give them my left arm as payment haha. Gotta love the price of a good education :) It'll all pay off in the end. That I know.
I hope you all have an amazing Christmas Season, and enjoy the season with your family!
Merry Christmas!
I know this song isn't like "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" but the arrangement of this song,
and how it is sung is beautiful. Enjoy!
xoxo McCall
Monday, December 5, 2011
Is it really December?!
So I'm all registered for school, and most recently I have been notified of the book I will need for my classes. Good-freakin-grief! I have forgotten how expensive these books can be! Seriously. My biology book is going to be $130.00, and that is used!! That doesn't include my lab book for biology! Ha ha. Holy crap. Oh well. It is all going to be well worth it! High education here I come! Ha ha.
Lately I really have been thinking about my happiness. I am the prime definition of a people pleaser. I am that person who is more than willing to drop what I am doing to help you in some way. I have always tried to figure out what people want so I can give it to them so I am not creating waves in a calm pond. The last thing I wanted/want is a confrontation. Let's be honest, who likes confrontation? No-one. I'd hope lol. I have found that in the process of trying to please everyone I have been losing myself. This past year I have made a strong effort to really focus on myself. If I have "burned" you, I'm sorry, but I need to focus on me.
I have begun to find myself, and really figure out who I am, and where and what I want to become. There are times that I have found myself wanting to please someone. It sucks, cause I feel like I am beginning to loose myself. Luckily I have found a way to not only ensure that people around me are happy, but that I am also happy. How? I am just myself. People who don't like I am more than happy to show them the door. And for some of them I have.
In the process of thinking about people pleasing, making people happy, yada yada, I have begun to think of persona's that we all create for people. We all do it, I know I do. Learn about someone, or miss someone and so we create a persona of who we think they are or what we want them to be. We build up this image of what we think this person is or should be. Then when the time ever comes when we reconnect or finally meet this person they do not fit the persona we have created. I know I have done this, and I know that others do it too.
Ever noticed that once we discover that this person does not fit the image we created how you go through the emotions of disappointment, and then irritation. We begin to project our feelings onto this person. I know I have unfortunately. I have even watched people try to begin to change the person to make them fit what their minds have created. Can you imagine the damage we are causing? Not only the friendship or relationship we could have with this person, but also the damage that we are causing this person? What kind of message are we sending this person?
I have made a strong effort in my life to make sure that I not do this. I am doing my best to get to know the person face to face, rather than creating a persona of what I think they will be like. I have found that my relations with people are a lot better. I find that making friends is a lot easier as well. Why has this been on my mind lately? Because I am caught in a situation where someone is trying to fit me into a persona they have created. I can hope that they will soon realize that I am not that person that they want me to be. That I cannot and will not be the person they want me to be. I hope that they will soon realize this so we can have a friendship.
ANYWHO . . . I cannot believe that it is December! This year has been fast and amazing! The freezing weather is back, not sure how I feel about it yet. Is it just me but didn't we have several inches of snow by now? Not saying that I am wanting it, but I feel like we are lacking snow. By all means I would be perfectly fine if it snowed two days before Christmas Eve, on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day. After that no mas. Ha ha!
I am attaching two songs that I absolutely love and have deep personal meanings for me. I hope you enjoy them and find them as beautiful as I do.
Lately I really have been thinking about my happiness. I am the prime definition of a people pleaser. I am that person who is more than willing to drop what I am doing to help you in some way. I have always tried to figure out what people want so I can give it to them so I am not creating waves in a calm pond. The last thing I wanted/want is a confrontation. Let's be honest, who likes confrontation? No-one. I'd hope lol. I have found that in the process of trying to please everyone I have been losing myself. This past year I have made a strong effort to really focus on myself. If I have "burned" you, I'm sorry, but I need to focus on me.
I have begun to find myself, and really figure out who I am, and where and what I want to become. There are times that I have found myself wanting to please someone. It sucks, cause I feel like I am beginning to loose myself. Luckily I have found a way to not only ensure that people around me are happy, but that I am also happy. How? I am just myself. People who don't like I am more than happy to show them the door. And for some of them I have.
In the process of thinking about people pleasing, making people happy, yada yada, I have begun to think of persona's that we all create for people. We all do it, I know I do. Learn about someone, or miss someone and so we create a persona of who we think they are or what we want them to be. We build up this image of what we think this person is or should be. Then when the time ever comes when we reconnect or finally meet this person they do not fit the persona we have created. I know I have done this, and I know that others do it too.
Ever noticed that once we discover that this person does not fit the image we created how you go through the emotions of disappointment, and then irritation. We begin to project our feelings onto this person. I know I have unfortunately. I have even watched people try to begin to change the person to make them fit what their minds have created. Can you imagine the damage we are causing? Not only the friendship or relationship we could have with this person, but also the damage that we are causing this person? What kind of message are we sending this person?
I have made a strong effort in my life to make sure that I not do this. I am doing my best to get to know the person face to face, rather than creating a persona of what I think they will be like. I have found that my relations with people are a lot better. I find that making friends is a lot easier as well. Why has this been on my mind lately? Because I am caught in a situation where someone is trying to fit me into a persona they have created. I can hope that they will soon realize that I am not that person that they want me to be. That I cannot and will not be the person they want me to be. I hope that they will soon realize this so we can have a friendship.
ANYWHO . . . I cannot believe that it is December! This year has been fast and amazing! The freezing weather is back, not sure how I feel about it yet. Is it just me but didn't we have several inches of snow by now? Not saying that I am wanting it, but I feel like we are lacking snow. By all means I would be perfectly fine if it snowed two days before Christmas Eve, on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day. After that no mas. Ha ha!
I am attaching two songs that I absolutely love and have deep personal meanings for me. I hope you enjoy them and find them as beautiful as I do.
Mumford and Sons - Below My Feet
Adele - Turning Tables
xoxo - McCall
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