Lately I really have been thinking about my happiness. I am the prime definition of a people pleaser. I am that person who is more than willing to drop what I am doing to help you in some way. I have always tried to figure out what people want so I can give it to them so I am not creating waves in a calm pond. The last thing I wanted/want is a confrontation. Let's be honest, who likes confrontation? No-one. I'd hope lol. I have found that in the process of trying to please everyone I have been losing myself. This past year I have made a strong effort to really focus on myself. If I have "burned" you, I'm sorry, but I need to focus on me.
I have begun to find myself, and really figure out who I am, and where and what I want to become. There are times that I have found myself wanting to please someone. It sucks, cause I feel like I am beginning to loose myself. Luckily I have found a way to not only ensure that people around me are happy, but that I am also happy. How? I am just myself. People who don't like I am more than happy to show them the door. And for some of them I have.
In the process of thinking about people pleasing, making people happy, yada yada, I have begun to think of persona's that we all create for people. We all do it, I know I do. Learn about someone, or miss someone and so we create a persona of who we think they are or what we want them to be. We build up this image of what we think this person is or should be. Then when the time ever comes when we reconnect or finally meet this person they do not fit the persona we have created. I know I have done this, and I know that others do it too.
Ever noticed that once we discover that this person does not fit the image we created how you go through the emotions of disappointment, and then irritation. We begin to project our feelings onto this person. I know I have unfortunately. I have even watched people try to begin to change the person to make them fit what their minds have created. Can you imagine the damage we are causing? Not only the friendship or relationship we could have with this person, but also the damage that we are causing this person? What kind of message are we sending this person?
I have made a strong effort in my life to make sure that I not do this. I am doing my best to get to know the person face to face, rather than creating a persona of what I think they will be like. I have found that my relations with people are a lot better. I find that making friends is a lot easier as well. Why has this been on my mind lately? Because I am caught in a situation where someone is trying to fit me into a persona they have created. I can hope that they will soon realize that I am not that person that they want me to be. That I cannot and will not be the person they want me to be. I hope that they will soon realize this so we can have a friendship.
ANYWHO . . . I cannot believe that it is December! This year has been fast and amazing! The freezing weather is back, not sure how I feel about it yet. Is it just me but didn't we have several inches of snow by now? Not saying that I am wanting it, but I feel like we are lacking snow. By all means I would be perfectly fine if it snowed two days before Christmas Eve, on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day. After that no mas. Ha ha!
I am attaching two songs that I absolutely love and have deep personal meanings for me. I hope you enjoy them and find them as beautiful as I do.
Mumford and Sons - Below My Feet
Adele - Turning Tables
xoxo - McCall
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