Is It Over??

I always think it is funny that when New Years Eve (or the month of December) hits, how many people you hear say "Wow I cannot believe that the year is practically over!"  Ya, I have said this myself, but I also find myself saying "About time!"  Ha ha.  This year has gone by really fast, but it has definitely had it's slow moments!  I am both excited and sad to see the year go.  This has been a big growing year for myself (not that the past few years haven't been).  I can definitely sense the changes in me, I can see the changes, and I can feel the changes.  I have also found that my taste in clothing, food, music, books, and other things have slightly changed . . . granted a lot could do with the fact that I am getting older . . . but not that old ha ha!

So as January 1st draws close I find myself thinking of 'New Years Resolutions."  Then I get thinking do I really want to set resolutions when I know that there is a 50/50 chance I will actually do it . . . ok so maybe it is more 20/80 (80% that I may not lol).  Well not really it depends on what I set.  Let's be honest the top of everyone's list is to become more fit.  That's all nice and well, we all go out and purchase a gym membership.  Use it for a month or so, and then we let it hang from our key chain, and let it collect dust for the next 1-2 years.  Don't be embarrassed, I totally did it!  I think what people do (and I do it too), is that we pick generic goals for the New Year.  When I say generic I mean things like:  loose weight, become fit, stop eating sugar, stop drinking pop, become more organized, and doing something in a certain amount of time . . . Now, I'm not knocking the goals at all!  I'm just wondering how many of us choose these generic goals, and then feel that we are good.  How many of us really sit and think about what we want to see for ourselves in the new year?

I have some generic goals sure!  Who doesn't?  But as I have been thinking lately there are other goals that I am setting that I would have never thought of before.  One of those goals is to gain more self love for myself, and also to open myself up a little more and let people in.  I have been fairly closed off.  I find I haven't been much of a sharing person when it comes to opening up and really expressing myself with people, or just letting them in to gain friendships.  I have a few other goals, but they are more personal that I wont be going into on here.  I will say that my biggest 'generic' goal this year is to do my best and try to get all A's in my classes this semester . . . I can hear you laughing on the other side of the screen.  It's college I know that.  It's going to be hard.  I know that.  It is going to require a lot of hard work.  I know that.  I am prepared for the challenge. 

On another note I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!  I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my family.  I always do, but there is just something about the spirit of Christmas that just brings an extra something to the time spent together.  Something that my family (my mom's side) has been doing the last few years is we have been celebrating Christmas on the 29th-ish.  This way my mom's brother and his family is able to come up, down, sideways, diagonal (I'm not good with directions so it is one of those) to Salt Lake.  We also celebrate my little cousin's birthday at the same time.  His name is Matthew, and today he turned 5.  He is the cutest, smartest, most energetic boy I have ever met.  I love him to death.  Seriously I cannot get enough of the kid (even when he is smacking me with balloons).  I honestly hope that when the day comes that I have kids they are like Matthew.  He is such a joy and amazing little boy.

Matthew's innocence is so refreshing, and so much fun to see.  He looks at the world as this amazing playground, and he hits the ground running.  His imagination is incredible!  It makes me want to be little again, when we all thought that the world was full of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Care Bears, Candy, Naps, and magic.  I truly enjoy having Matthew around.  It reminds me to greet everything with excitement and a smile.  He is always excited, and when he tells you a story he bounces because the joy that he cannot contain.  I love him!  He is so adorable and the sweetest boy.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve/ New Years day.  Stay safe!  Drive Safe!  And most of all tell your loved ones how much you love them!

xoxo McCall

Tis The Season!

I cannot believe that Christmas is just a few days away!  I feel like just yesterday we were celebrating the fourth of July!  Funny.  This Christmas I have been searching for a calm and stress free Christmas . . . I am some what having one haha.  I was called to be the pianist for the ward choir this year so the past few months have been full of me practicing for the choir's numbers for the 25th.  Unfortunately, I am a perfectionist, and I expect the best from me (which can be a curse).  I have been practicing hours each day trying to perfect these pieces.  There are 5 songs that I am playing.  Two are pretty easy, but I can't really slack on playing them because sometimes the easiest pieces are the ones you can really mess up.  There are two that test my patience, and the timing on one is annoying.  Ha ha.

Most recently I have noticed that my wrists are killing me.  The past couple days it has been painful to put any weight on my hands, and bending my wrists kills.  I tried to play the piano the other day, but reaching for some of the chords was causing pain to run up my arm to my elbow.  There are a couple things that could be contributing to my aching wrists . . . First, the past few months of continual hourly practices of the piano (I haven't really practiced like this since I took piano lessons nearly 6 years ago).  Secondly it could also be that at my work, my typing load has gone up and so I am typing a lot.  However, I don't know exactly how typing on the keyboard could attribute to the pain in the wrists.  Who knows . . .  All I know is that my wrists are killing me lol.

Oh, so my Mom and I went out and bought my books for school.  Holy crap the prices of the books nearly killed me!  Even used I was apalled.  The lady at the cashier nearly had to rip my card out of my hand to run it ha ha.  Colleges really milk students for all their money with the price of tuition and then with the price of books, then you add in the parking permit . . . Good heck!  I should just give them my left arm as payment haha.  Gotta love the price of a good education :)  It'll all pay off in the end.  That I know.

I hope you all have an amazing Christmas Season, and enjoy the season with your family! 

Merry Christmas!

I know this song isn't like "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" but the arrangement of this song,

and how it is sung is beautiful.  Enjoy!

xoxo McCall



Is it really December?!

So I'm all registered for school, and most recently I have been notified of the book I will need for my classes. Good-freakin-grief! I have forgotten how expensive these books can be! Seriously. My biology book is going to be $130.00, and that is used!! That doesn't include my lab book for biology! Ha ha. Holy crap. Oh well. It is all going to be well worth it! High education here I come! Ha ha.



Lately I really have been thinking about my happiness. I am the prime definition of a people pleaser. I am that person who is more than willing to drop what I am doing to help you in some way. I have always tried to figure out what people want so I can give it to them so I am not creating waves in a calm pond. The last thing I wanted/want is a confrontation. Let's be honest, who likes confrontation? No-one. I'd hope lol. I have found that in the process of trying to please everyone I have been losing myself. This past year I have made a strong effort to really focus on myself. If I have "burned" you, I'm sorry, but I need to focus on me.



I have begun to find myself, and really figure out who I am, and where and what I want to become. There are times that I have found myself wanting to please someone. It sucks, cause I feel like I am beginning to loose myself. Luckily I have found a way to not only ensure that people around me are happy, but that I am also happy. How? I am just myself. People who don't like I am more than happy to show them the door. And for some of them I have.


In the process of thinking about people pleasing, making people happy, yada yada, I have begun to think of persona's that we all create for people. We all do it, I know I do. Learn about someone, or miss someone and so we create a persona of who we think they are or what we want them to be.  We build up this image of what we think this person is or should be.  Then when the time ever comes when we reconnect or finally meet this person they do not fit the persona we have created.  I know I have done this, and I know that others do it too.

Ever noticed that once we discover that this person does not fit the image we created how you go through the emotions of disappointment, and then irritation. We begin to project our feelings onto this person. I know I have unfortunately. I have even watched people try to begin to change the person to make them fit what their minds have created.  Can you imagine the damage we are causing?  Not only the friendship or relationship we could have with this person, but also the damage that we are causing this person?  What kind of message are we sending this person?

I have made a strong effort in my life to make sure that I not do this. I am doing my best to get to know the person face to face, rather than creating a persona of what I think they will be like. I have found that my relations with people are a lot better. I find that making friends is a lot easier as well. Why has this been on my mind lately?  Because I am caught in a situation where someone is trying to fit me into a persona they have created.  I can hope that they will soon realize that I am not that person that they want me to be.  That I cannot and will not be the person they want me to be.  I hope that they will soon realize this so we can have a friendship.

ANYWHO . . . I cannot believe that it is December! This year has been fast and amazing! The freezing weather is back, not sure how I feel about it yet. Is it just me but didn't we have several inches of snow by now? Not saying that I am wanting it, but I feel like we are lacking snow. By all means I would be perfectly fine if it snowed two days before Christmas Eve, on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day. After that no mas. Ha ha!

I am attaching two songs that I absolutely love and have deep personal meanings for me.  I hope you enjoy them and find them as beautiful as I do.

Mumford and Sons - Below My Feet

Adele - Turning Tables

xoxo - McCall